good grief.

I went to run some errands this morning. My last stop was Walmart to pick up some cat food for Miles. When I got in my car to leave, I turned the key and ... nothing. My radio kicked on, my windows could roll down, but my car wouldn't start.

If you know me, you know that one thing that can easily stress me out is car problems. Because I don't know much about cars and I'm put vulnerably at the mercy of a mechanic, who always milks me for a few hundred dollars. I don't have my phone on me, so I have no other choice but to start walking. Home is just 1.7 miles away, but I am not happy about this at all. As I walk, I find myself starting to experience the five stages of grief. (Grief over the inevitable loss of a significant chunk of my last paycheck.)

1. Denial/Isolation
Sitting in my car, I thought, "Oh, great." Then immediately, "I just need to give it a few seconds. Nothing is really wrong." I refuse to ask anyone to help or attempt to jump my battery (because I know it's not my battery; it's a 8-month old battery.) There is no way the battery is the problem.

2. Anger
After several failed attempts to start my car, I get angry. Stupid car! Sheesh! This is ridiculous. If you would just start for two minutes so I could get you into Midas' parking lot! But noooo you can't even do that for me! Grrr!

3. Barganing
I'm starting to think about my options, which really seem to be few and far between. Embarrassingly enough, I find myself praying: "God, please make this car start. Just this once. I know You can if You want to." No answer. I guess He wants to teach me something from this experience.

4. Depression
I begin my walk. Fortunately it is a nice day, already in the mid-60s. But I am very upset and I keep my eyes down because I just know if I make eye contact with anyone sitting in a functioning car, I will burst into tears. And no one looks nice crying. I start thinking how much this situation sucks and everything I had planned to do today probably won't get done because I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to get my car working, if it's even possible.

5. Acceptance
I called Andrea and asked if she could pick me up and take me back to my car. Then I called Midas and they said they could call a tow truck for me, but towing on a weekend is usually $75. He pauses like I need to make a decision. Really? Because I think the decision is pretty clear. I live alone and I have one car. If I don't tow this car, it is going to sit in that parking lot waiting for a miracle. Andrea picks me up and takes me to my car so the guy can tow it, and then to Midas. They are like, "Well, we don't know what it could be, but we'll look at it. That will be $75 just to figure out the problem. And it might take an hour or more, so we'll call you."

This is kind of a forced acceptance because I have no other choice. Andrea drops me back off at home. Midas called and said it is the starter. Tow, labor, repairs. This bill majorly hurts. After having the alternator and battery replaced in August and now this, I have officially put more money into this car than it is worth. Good grief.